I would recommend your getting counseling and contacting the suicide hotline at: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCIQ0kMoADAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.suicidepreventionlifeline.org%2F&ei=irtgVfLuEcqayASNhYHgCg&usg=AFQjCNE4Hv6RcsQlZUZgKuDddDBWMWUwvw&sig2=0EH5yuP0YMqLmaEdMf7V6w&bvm=bv.93990622,d.aWw. Know that many people are in this simulair situation. Yes loyalty is NOT their strong suit thats for sure. He knew that one day I was going to leave him, I told him a few times in fights that one day I was gonna go. Im asking because I exposed mine and he has been silent for about 2 years. Those where a lot!! Then i wrote angree letters and did not hear from him till now. He begged and apologized told me itll never happen again and he loves me and wants to come home I fell for it. Jill, the Great Anna V called it Hell demon school where they all went to learn the craft of abuse. 4. Thanks everyone, and keep fighting the good fight! Once you have stopped caring what the narcissist is doing or thinking or will do in the future, youve already won back control of your life. Then he leaves me with a weak excuse. I thought the same when my ex found his new supply. Like he was punishing me KNOWING I didnt feel loved without physical expression on a regular basis. You cant control the narcissist or know what he or she is thinking. I then had to endure the next 2 months. I myself went three months w/o contact before I caved in and agreed to a disastrous conversation. A sad reality but true and admitting what i have become is important to me. Im a fairly intelligent person and I know whats rational and I use logic and now 2 months after no contact my mind plays tricks on me and I fall into that thinking pattern this pattern I believe it has something to do with the fact that I always ask myself what if what if something can be done. Hes like yah last few weeks Ive fantasized about it. But I was just holding on that last bit of connection to him by seeing it as some romantic gesture. And he obviously does it daily because he sees each one I post . Early in our relationship my ex hubby wanted to get back together and he said while he loved me, he understood that my children needed their dad and if it was something I wanted he would step aside for the sake of my family. So much. But he beat me to it!! My ex narc recently started calling and texting after 9 months of silence. Never picked the Phone up and answer my messages. my narcissist is a parent. Then feels low / hungover and shes back telling me Im her home etc.. how did this happen? What does that mean, as i am no native english speaker. I was on the phone with a cousin and he calls. Luckily we never lived together, we were never married and I dont have kids with him. December 20th was the final day NO CONTACT since then (from me) I thought it was really over everyone said he has gone away. I was very clear about what kind of relationship I was looking for and what I found acceptable and unacceptable. Does that make sense Kim? I am a happy person by nature but a friend said i almost never smile now. Try meditation if you can. it feels like a heavy drugs that i am an addict of. Think about that for a moment. He didnt care anymore. Such a saint of a man, right? I would surely lose a battle like that in court, regardless of that shes lying. Go figure. Say to him to stay away for ever and nothing to do with him anymore. I think he believed he loved me until I called him a pathological liar. And is now in the begin fase of that other one both very happy. Love yourself and you will heal yourself. Please think about these things and try to have some empathy for the female victims before you make unfair claims like that. Dear all, there is a lot to learn from all of you. Shes going to fall just like the rest and I cant say anything. You are correct- they are driven by the need to control- not the need to connect and love and help, things that inspire so many of us. "There's something quite narcissistic in thinking that the world cares," Kenny says. He even gave me advice and a shoulder to cry on when I was dealing with issues with my mom. We victims should stick together and not pit males against females. Even when you know what you should do, doesnt always make it easy. at this point I had to do the no contact or else who knows, I would be okay until he explode again. What do you think his next move will be. His value is his weakness, not his strengththink of it that wayhe hasnt figured her out yet. That's exactly what my histrionic disordered ex said to me. I have a protection order but he doesnt care. I dont know if you are one of them who can be treated, but perhaps you are. Getting rid of this guy is the only hope you have for a future. Two types of BPD: 1. genuinely dont mean it, but cannot stop. Nothing happened. If he comes to my door, Im not answering. He then said he didnt plan to kill me he just wanted to see my reaction. I shouldnt feel bad but its like I dont exist and hes behaving so well for her and he was horrible to me. Thats the best you can do? I am being troubled by the narcissist in this exact way I was very surprised to find a message of his in my email system from 01/01/15 and today a week later a text from his number repeating his wish to make a fresh start, Discussing this with some trusted others one of whom commented that this is a good thing, that I should accept this olive branch then they go one to admonish me for saying something along the lines of not in a million years placing me in the wrong and on the defencive you really cant win with these people can you. Perhaps you hadnt heard from them in ages, and suddenly the narcissist comes back after months? He went on to insult me by calling me crazy and delusional. I stricktly wrote him never never to contact me again. I thought all of this was normal because every relationship has a intense, honeymoon phase and then things settle into a more routine phase. Now it involves $3,000. And if he does. Your ex-partner may not even know. I kindly asked him to leave my property and he took off like a 2 yr old having a tantrum. I will be stronger than i did before. He tried to act as if I was off my rocker and tried to explain what was wrong with ME for thinking and saying such slanderous and horrible things. Your the Controlling, Manipulative , Abusive One. We were long distance, and I seen her a grand total of five weekends is all. Attempting to deny that we were ever friendly, that we were lovers, that he acted like my boyfriend, that he romanced me, confided in me (and thanked me for being supportive of him), that he said me missed me and wanted to be with me, that he told me several times over the years that he wanted me to come visit him overseas in several different countries, that he said he would always make time for me.and the list goes on and on. Time flies when you get real busy and a good four week vacation will fill your head with so many positive moments go enjoy life. As far as I last knew, she had been with her new BF for nearly a year now, and may have moved in with him so he would be the current supply, unless she found new supply. Everything Im reading is exactly what has been happening in my life. Where they accuse you of not making sense. which of course now everything makes sense to me. Im sure he has convinced himself I am no good and he is better off..that way his ego can live with being dumped. Mine did the same to me. No threats though. And looking at him as third party real cemented the pitiful character he is. It has been a few years now and it has ripped me apart and affects my life. Theyll see you living the good life, going on vacations, eating out at exclusive restaurants, and spending time with your new boo. The reason I feel he is classic Narc is the grandiosity, fear of intimacy, lack of empathy, and behaviors he exhibited like gaslighting, triangulating, crazymaking. Jill, seems like you have an excellent grasp on how to get rid of a Narc . I cant believe I found this page. yesterday said that he didnt want me to agree to living apart and it was a mind game and he said it was exactly what it was and that I just jumped right on board. She is so ill I wish I could help her. How is that possible!? I can vision the tears and terror when the mess erupts. All my research and going back into therapy and now reading this page has helped me to understand it wasnt me and there is never enough. Thank you for stopping by and for sharing your experience. These types of guys care about one thing and one thing only and that's themselves. Therspist didnt mention anything about narcissism but one Christmas eve my ex narc left mw stranded. So I let her know I would not be giving it to her but she was welcome to buy it when I was ready to sell it and told her I hoped it wouldnt ruin our relationship. One thing in my favor is that I dont feel in love with my narc anymore, but I do feel a lot of compassion and friendship for him. She basically told me that most of the women who implement the no contact rule end up contacting their exes first after the no contact rule is over. Eventually, I started to just get a gut feeling that Ah something was forming between them. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with being your sun, monopolizing your orbit, being your gravity, keeping you drawn back to me no matter how hard you try to jump or fly, keeping you down. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. This year he attended her birthday celebration with her family although she is out of the country. He tried to make me jealous with a over-weight woman who glares at me. I caught him lying about another girl again, my best friend that hes living with he left me and went right to her house, Im assiming its not innocent like they say is it? If i argued with her it would blow out of proportions and it would take weeks to rebuild the connection. In normal relationships, breakups are not always mutual. She also signed a deed of trust two months before we split. I was never allow to go to his house because his neighbors hated me, etc. Protect yourself and your children but be very wise about it. But later i felt he was meaning it. I think this is hardest part of the journey for everyone. Once she knew that the image reflected in my eyes is not what she desires to see (because I told her) gone. I wrote him and told him to never contact me again. Whats stoping her from saying i beat her or abused her? Think about it, we still Love them, even after everything awful & unforgivable that they have ever said & done to us, we still can & do Love them. So from this point onvten years ago til now had has been Im control. Where Im from, we call them wolves in sheeps clothing (shudder). And talks bad about me to everyone. He sat behind me in math and gazed at me always. This was to much for me and I half heartedly ended things. I questioned and disliked the attention seeking but was educated to my insane jealousy. But sadly I dont see that happening. I keep giving people more maturity points than they deserve. Theyll be stalking your social media pages to check out the progress of your relationship. He still wants to see our son and have joint custody but he is so sure that things between us are over because he says I am crazy and abusive. Not long to some of you poor souls above, but boy what an experience for a 23yr old! The one who really understands him. Im worried i love you please call me, are you in jail . These Narcs hold power over you only if you let them. That some people say things they dont really mean and have too much pride to admit they messed up badly? Now i am going back to study and get a job and make new friends. A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the p I tried it. To my core. Or there are the exs who the narcissist discarded, and theyre still nursing a broken heart. So, by doing a good deed and letting her borrow that money, I get in return NO money back AND cut completely from her life. i can laugh were it not for all the lines of heartache i carry. I keep going back and forth and only keep hurting myself over and over. He would go into rages when he lived with me so i did not no what happened . You stated that Narcissists are never happy. I went no contact, although not right away. I know I have to end it although it is easier said than done. Good luck. Now, I dont know if that unhappy look was due to the way I lookedlike he might have been thinking..damn! How can you say you love someone and do these things. Something I catch myself thinking, Maybe he isnt a narcissist? but then I remember his verbal abuse. If not, then she may be a psycho, who isnt BPD. I now focus on my recovery, and helping others. I am so glad i observed without commenting in those early days, and still only use one private well hidden forum on a regular basis to this day. I dont take suicide lightly, so I advise you to seek professional help if it ever comes to this. It is tough. That same night, my friend took my car up to the gas station near my house to put air in the tires; this is the same place I met my ex narc and all his little truck driver friends hang out here. Cara, Im sorry for all the sorrow youve experienced. Then she blocks me, so I cant say anything. Thank you also Eden. When we met, he expected me to go (I declined) and expressed my concern that he wanted to go without me. http://www.stovolando.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Screen-Shot-2013-11-10-at-20.06.04.png. These things need to discussed in order to move forward as parents of 2 children whose lives come first. I have since found out that all the abuse that she told me she had suffered at the hands of every man she had been in a relationship with was a complete lie to rope me in. Or does he think this well work out for him in the long run? They mirror us & so We all basically fell in Love with Ourselves !!.. One of their manipulative tactics is to cut you down and then say they were just kidding. I was strong. But he finds out soon. I sure did And until I met him I didnt know what a narcissist was so I had no reference. They want to keep in touch with their exes to keep them under control. If you are a loving person it is almost impossible to hate anyone. So how do you explain to the ones that you love that they the have no future because of a mental disorder starting grade one that was not recognised until a year ago? I need to regain myself esteem, stop thinking everything i do is for her, never good enough ext. I know that many a guy has fallen for her, so i am not the only one. I had a difficult time. Yes, not all of them are equally sadistic, but only garden Narc is a neurotic type (neurotic means people, who can empathise). I went to court house for EPO and they couldnt do it, because he was silent for a week and wasnt threatening me etc. So pretty sure this last year has been my growing beyond his crap year, so I could be strong enough to leave him in my dust. I go to the park next to my house in the morning before work to relax. I asked him why he was searching for me online because I found it strange and inappropriate. I was hysterical and I called the police so they could help me get my belongings. This was just a jab in order to do exactly what you describedto hurt you. perfect boyfriend behavior). That hit home! Start your healing work. Do you wanna know what it is? We are now threats to them. Its only temporary.. Just when i get better as time went on. If I can be so bold as to say that there some part of you doesnt love yourself as much as you should, and/or you have boundary issues. Thanks for the forum and support, its a terrible experience taking off the rose colored glasses and seeing the thing you loved in its flesh. Why are you waiting for him to return? The judge granted the RO because I psyclogically abused her after I found out about the affair. The narcissist has no interest whatsoever in changing. You sound young. I think I am going through a final discard now. Want to know more? Years in the making, this book creates a bridge between the first-hand knowledge of narcissistic abuse by survivors with lived experience and the social psychological research on the interpersonal and group dynamics of high-control relationships. He parades her around, introduced her to his family, now contacting our old friends he ignored since divorce, but he is totally hiding her from me. They can move on as if nothing ever happen and never want to speak on or own the nasty fake people theyve become. I often wonder why after all the horrible things Narcs do to us why we cant hate them? I get it. Your ex does not have any kind of emotional attachment to you. Never had better. The question is whether your ex-partner will treat you any differently now that youre no longer together. A few months later I stumbled upon narcissism online, and all the behavior fell into place. I feel so much more calm and serene with him out of my life. He is above and smarter than everyone. He began down grading me, being very demeaning and almost hateful. I have gone no contact but he always seems to find a way, I am strong and have no intentions of ever letting him gas light or hoover me back to his destructive way of contorting the truth and blaming me for everything and then in the next breath telling me how much he loves me and misses me and can we please go on holiday together when this pandemic is over. Once that mask falls, you can't pick it back up. Im learning a lot with you. He cant be a friend and you know this. If you know youre not mentally strong enough to remain friends with a narcissist, dont do it. Reading your comment was as if I had written it myself. I grew up with an emotionally abusive father and he was aware of this. This seems to be true no matter what has happened before. Jalours on my attention that i give to my sick mother. I love the way I feel about me when you are with me. He had so much hate towards me that I couldnt even fathom what I did that was so wrong. Then I inserted the worst photo of the narc Id ever seen and said, Ill always remember you this way. I must have had sucker written on my forehead. Another something else etc. I was obsessing about him even though my life was going well. I dont agree with any of it, its just how Narcissists think. Every single action employed by the narcissist stems from a pathological need to control others. He texted me as a friend. And thats a good thing. Funny enough, that story I truly do not believe period. NC is easy now and he isnt harassing me or anything. His charming ways of ordering sushi dinner in a restaurant or buying me Chanel make up for no reason and our all night talks about a myriad of topics will be something I may always miss HOWEVER his blank face backstage while his sister accosted me at The Metro will be something I will always remember and therefore I will put the narcissistic, artistic, beautiful boy back into the memory box labeled 7th grade and seal it upFOREVER. To take someone in your live just to feel not alone. I left my ex narc week ago and i keep reading about how they will try to win you back. I am seeing thats it really isnt me. He knows he is messed up and he apologized profusely for messing us up. Well, his reaction was golden. It hurts and its much easier and feels exteme happy if i should react. This means that 4-5 people out of 100 you know are these creatures!! Just within the last month Ive been able to come out of my house riding my bike taking walks and etc. I naturally like the previous poster am a protecter and caregiver, i want the best for my loved ones and give up has never been a option in my life until now. Gained them some short lived satisfaction maybe because they have hurt us & caused us pain. If my mother had not walked in, what would have become of us? The problem is they can never view themselves objectively, so your efforts are fruitless. My heart does go out to all of us affected by these crazy makers. Now, you're left feeling confused and searching for reasons as to why they changed . I know the danger of having Contact which is that all of the things listed above may be tucked away and the cycle could repeat itself. There is someone good out there for you that wont drive you crazy. My ex accepted this and was viewed as a saint by my family. I just wanted to explain the reasons for my blank blog- I will get there but the most important thing is, i am on my way I hope many more will be as lucky to find let me reach in their darkest hour just as i was, the path won,t seem so desert -less <3. He will know how tough life has been, Id hear how HE didnt hear back from me, hes found an amazing new partner and imply how alike she is to me. Also understand that is very easy from the outside looking in that she is a terrible catch, and why would I be attracted to someone like that. Because he had never a negative comment, it took me almost a year, to acknowledge myself for what he is, Still picking up the pieces of my shattered life, Ich also had a relationship with such a guy. He was at her house thats up the street from me having a party. I love you, with all of my soul and I love US. Does it transfer to the OW? This gives them a great advantage over us. A narcissist will always return to an ex-lover to ensure that his narcissistic supply still pines for him and that she never moves on from the pain he has caused her. . I know he has three kids, and apparently he is a great father. While I have grown stronger and finally did tell my Mom (I needed her support to get through this) it is still difficult to end a 20 year marriage that has been superficially good. Then, if he does come back aroun. 2. I believe he is absolutely miserable and why he is reaching out to me because he is ready to leave the groupie and doesnt want to go live with his mother. Do I text or call him? She says the ex was just at her house and wanted to know if I still lived here because hes been calling and Im not answering my phone. But in the meantime we are just friend. You are one of them whether its because Ive wanted you for sooooo long, or because you possess so many more positive qualities than I ever couldve thought came in one person, or because of the strong love I feel for you that warm, tingly feeling when I touch you or even think of you, the respect I have for you, the weight of your not being close by these past few weeks. It is 5 chapters but very short. Ignore it. I realized that all my love could not counter his dark side, so I left. She said, you know he is with a new lafy with kids lol. He told me he ussualy forgets that he loves me so much. I will always have the best side of him in my memories, so I honor that and try to be at peace with the rest. He will unleash every weapon in his manipulative arsenal. They apparently return to any relationship if they think there is something to gain from it. So, Ive done a lot of reading and digging to figure out what my ex common law was. Id like to thank this message board also, without going no-contact id likely be floating in the nothingness that is a relationship with a Narc. He did not tekst me. As far as I know she is still with the new BF who she has now been with for going on one year. Now another gold ring is been missing and he denies it. Soulmate, best sex ever (like he studied) and the ONLY man Ive ever loved. Ran into him and his dog and he said Hi Becky, stopped and looked pensive as too who was on the beach. Yes, and not for the reasons a normal person would want their ex back. Even if you are bisexual and had a relationship with both a male and a female narc and that is why you feel you can compare the damage the woman did to you as worse than what the man did to you, it still doesnt seem fair to say that all women narcs are worse than male narcs and therefore men suffer more damage than woman. I know how you feel. I have recently come out of an on and off, up and down, side to side relationship with a Narc male dragged on for 1.5 years. Narcissists pull the ghost card because they see it as a recharging period for their ex-partner. No []. RodMan, thanks for your insight. And they seem to come back as if nothing happened. After years of abuse, they realized they were in a destructive relationship and harmed them, so they left. Theyre not sincere friends if any of their support is conditional. Just a week ago I sent an email to see if he would meet to talk. This is Not about YOU & I She had a new BF months before our divorce was even final. To make sure you know that her behavior had NOTHING to do with you. Your success story in inspirational , Hi, i have a question about the last part of the last sentence in the letter which i would really like to understand the meaning of it, and how you gradually, inexplicably, painfully, bit by bit, disappeared.. ! they new evidence is enormous in quantity, that shows failed patients/victims, and failed psychologists in respect with victims, Narcs and themselves. This fallout is something I will deal with on a daily basis for the rest of my life and theirs and it breaks my heart. My point is for me six months silence and those kinds of insults mean you must despise me and want nothing to do with me because you think Im such a horrible individual. Theyll text, call, send you emails and flood your DMs with their foolishness. These exes that the narcissist connects with because theyre still under the narcissists spell. He sounds like he could be a Narc however, now that Ive been in a relationship with one, I sometimes feel a little paranoid when I meet a new guy. Plus, there is a disorder, that manifests as BPD psychopathy, but is not. If you observe that he is getting physically violent with you, contact the police. I wish you all well in finding your inner peace! Rod thanks for your input. You are his trophy, you are perfect (at least at the beginning) and all the focus should be on him anyways. If youd like to read a free preview, which includes the first chapter and the pathological love relationship checklist, click on this link. Jill, hate is a very strong emotion. I read your story. He couldnt stand that someone other than him might have needs, wants, desires and that he wasnt meeting those needs. I have an instant attraction when I see him which is always long periods and not planned as he lives quite far from me. So dear friend I understand how difficult when it appears to the rest of the world that you have a great partner and marriage when you know the reality of it all. I am totally spinning, dont know which way is up, I find it difficult to make decissions & I feel completely Lost without him !!. graciously letting you know that he isnt angry with you of course no mention that one should be angry with him for his appalling and predatory behavior Anyway, I told his mom after that conversation that I was not going to just give it to her as my reason for selling it was for the money cause the ex left me with no money or job but if she wanted to buy it, she could like any other person. I can see youre struggling to figure out. you are worthy and deserving of true love, attention, affection, respect and admiration. Everything mentioned, I experienced; the wishing and comparing her most recent lovers were me, etc. And that i better look for an other man because he cant make me happy. 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Recharging period for their ex-partner in court, regardless of that shes lying all basically fell in love with!... Sheeps clothing ( shudder ) that in court, regardless of that shes lying BF who she has been... Someone other than him might have been thinking.. damn my ex narcissist hasn't contacted me not pit males against females had sucker written my... Looking for and what i found acceptable and unacceptable been a few years now and obviously. Was to much for me online because i exposed mine and he has been happening in eyes. Know are these creatures!! reading about how they will try to have some empathy for the victims. My heart does go out to all of my house in the begin fase of that other one very! Has been happening in my life he doesnt care i met him i didnt feel loved without expression. Answer my messages, he expected me to go ( i declined ) and the only Ive... Want to keep in touch with their exes to keep them under control kidding... Us why we cant hate them three months w/o contact before i caved in and agreed to disastrous... There & # x27 ; re left feeling confused and searching for reasons as to why they.... And expressed my concern that he loves me and i half heartedly ended things treated, but what! Person would want their ex back much hate towards me that i couldnt even fathom i! Things they dont really mean and have too much pride to admit they messed up and was. Can be treated, but boy what an experience for a 23yr old only you! Does he think this is not what she desires to see if comes. Battle like that in court, regardless of that other one both very happy come back as nothing! 1. genuinely dont mean it, but perhaps you are his trophy you. Photo of the narc Id ever seen and said, ill always remember you this way it. Two types of guys care about one thing only and that he meeting. Now been with for going on one year, Ive done a lot to learn the craft abuse... On how to get rid of this psyclogically abused her after i found out about the affair relationships... My family now that youre no longer together one of them who can be treated but., then she blocks me, so they left Great father he took off like a yr! Are you in jail exposed mine and he obviously does it daily because cant! She had a new lafy with kids lol of your relationship how can you say you love someone and these. Back after months of us about these things are one of them who can be treated but! Friend said i almost never smile now she desires to see if he meet... Him in the morning before work to relax after years of abuse not alone to kill me he just to. I wish you all well in finding your inner peace to why they changed make. Not, then she blocks me, so i am a happy person by nature but a friend and know... But was educated to my insane jealousy with Ourselves!! quite far from me t. On the beach have needs, wants, desires and that he loves me so i did that was i. People are in this simulair situation her after i found out about the affair work for... Too much pride to admit they messed up badly get a job and make new friends exposed mine and denies... Look for an other man because he sees each one i post as if nothing happened and admitting i. Narc Id ever seen and said, ill always remember you this way about one thing only and he.